Cougar
by Forensic Kitteh
Summary: Ryan dosn't know what a cougar/cub relationship is...
1. The Deal

**A tiny thing......**

**-----------------**

"You've never heard of a cougar" Natalia asked Ryan with a smirk

"How should I know these old-lady terms"

"Now you're just talking nonsense."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. I know that everybody, let's just not ask Horatio O.K., knows who a cougar is"

"You know, are you a gambler?"

"Sometimes."

"You're right, I take you out to dinner. You're wrong, I get bragging rights that I was right." Ryan extended a hand.

Natalia raised a eyebrow suspiciously thinking it over "Deal" she said shaking Ryan extended hand

**------------------------**

**I have no idea what's next..no i -hee**


	2. Jesse

**I now work. If I have time**

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* * *

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~~~~~~~~Jesse~~~~~~~~~~~

Natalia came into the break room and saw Jesse making coffee.

"Jesse" Natalia said lightly tapping Jesse on the shoulder.

"Natalia." Jesse said taking a sip of his coffee.

"I have a question for you"

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever heard of a cougar? Not the animal, but the social one" Natalia said shaking from supressed laughter.

"We're working a case with one! How can I not?!" Jess asked setting his coffee down.

"Clarification" Natalia said letting a chuckle out.

"No, really why?"

"I just told you. That's the reason" Natalia lied.

"You're lying" Jesse smirked. "The eyes."

"Am I? Okay, okay, I am." Natalia said her eyes laughing at Jesse.

"So?" Jesse asked.

"Just a little deal with Ryan" Natalia said turning to leave.

"What's the risk?"

"If I'm right, he takes me to dinner, if not he's right" Natalia said.

"Natalia!" Jesse said wanting to smack his head. "That's called a set-up!"

"And why would that be?" Natalia asked wanting to play dumb.

Jesse was at a loss of words.

"So?"

"He's trying to pull you out on a date!" Jesse supttered.

"Oh yeah. That. And?"

"And you accepted?" Jesse asked faking a faint.

"No, yeah of course I did!" Natalia starting to laugh.

"But-but he's so short! And those sweater vests!" Jesse said sticking a finger down his throat.

"I happen to like his sweater vests. He's looks like a teddy bear in them" Natalia said enjoying this. She hoped the she was recording it.

"And what about his gambling friends? Do you happen to like those too?"

"And how do you know about them?" Natalia asked. "Did you knead it out of Ryan to ward of other gals?"

Jesse blushed and pretended to dislike the taste of his coffee.

"You did, did you not?"

"I did not!" Jesse said as Natalia turned to get a tea bag. "Tea?! Tea?!" Jesse's voice sounded like he broke a record.

"Yeah. Sooooooo?"

"Tea is so girly!"

"You know what's girly?" Natalia asked

"What?"

"You are!" Natalia snapped and Jesse headed out the door. Walter was walking in and they got stuck in the doorway.

"Walter, I'm still on break and I have a question for you."

"Whatever you do,' Jesse whispered. "Do not make fin of Wolfe. If you do, she'll call you fat or something"

Natalia rolled her eyes.

"By the way, Ryan is kinda fat."

"Well you're a twig with dimples!"


	3. Walter

"Look I know the question, and I know the reason you need it." Walter said. "But do you really want to be a social outcast after this?" Walter asked.

"WHAT?!" Natalia barked.

"I mean, um, you're what 35, 37?" Walter asked.

"Somewhere around there." Natalia said.

"But you're still older than Wolfe, right?" Walter asked.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Well then you can be classified as a puma." Walter stated.

"A WHAT?!" Natalia barked. Again.

"A cougar in training. A puma is a woman that dates a guy that is 8 or less years younger than her. It's not often used." Walter said, but when he noticed Natalia rage building up in her, he got slightly afraid. "I really shouldn't have said that."

"Walter, what the hell!?" Natalia stared at him. "I don't care! I came here for an answer not a explanation what I may be classified as in Chicago! And damn it, leave your comments to yourself!"

"I just don't want people classifying you as what they may think you are." Walter said. "And Ryan knows that definition too. He's from Chicago." Walter said.

"And for some reason he offered the deal also known as deal date. Eh?" Natalia stared at him.

"Maybe because he wanted you to become a social outcast?" Walter doubled over laughing.

"A different tactic from Jesse's but still not polite!" Natalia snarled aiming her heel for his toe."

"OOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!" Walter yelped.

"Do four things. Get ice for that, get out of my view before I kill you, get a life, and dunk your head into a toilet bowl sometime soon!" Natalia pushed him out of the way and headed for the DNA lab.

* * *

**Why am I making Natalia so mad these days? I dunno It's fun though. :}**


End file.
